Assertiveness III

When we need to improve ass in our selves it is important that to handle feelings. We can Stifle (don’t give any outward expression) or Give vent (expressing feeling freely) our feelings.Some feeling are with us from birth and some are learned by experience. Some of these are productive which lead to effective behavior and some are unproductive. Our behavior both before and after the situation will be more assertive if we can ‘Intervene’ in our thinking process with inner dialogue then we can handle unproductive feeling without stifling or giving vent to them.

Giving or receiving criticism is not an easy task when we talking about unsatisfactory aspects of performance. Goal of a criticizing performance is a change in the way a person carries out a particular aspect of their job. To make our criticism assertively we have to not only accept that we have rights which involved with criticism but also requires sound inner dialogues.
When we give criticism there are several steps we can use, taking the initiative in raising an issue with someone. Then concern with setting the scene by announcing the topic for discussion before the criticism. Then we need to assertively to make our criticism and getting agreement to our criticism. Then we encourage other person to come up with suggestions and summarized what has been agreed.

When we receive criticism, we should accept that other person has right to criticize our performance. If we are unclear about the criticism we can ask for clarification. If the criticism is in form of a personal attack we should be able to get out the valid part from it. We have right to disagree if criticism is not acceptable to us. These kinds of actions will lead to receive criticism assertively.

Other people’s agg or na behavior may cause our ass behavior in a bad way. They have the facts, opinions and suggestions they put forward (content) or they have the way they put these facts, opinions and suggestions forward (behavior) these are the two elements of influence. Others behavior may cause us to respond as aggressively or non-assertively.
To be an ass person we have to handle agg from others. Higher level agg which is usually takes form of personal attacks and lower level agg which could be Sarcasm, Blaming, Patronizing, etc. these levels are the different forms of agg.

If we used agg or na to responding to others previously we have to overcome those barriers to respond assertively. There few steps we can use to handle agg from others. Crucial 1st step is getting a sound inner dialogue, then ask the questions assertively. Then we can say more about where we are, and step up your ass at this stage. If it worked then we may experience strong feelings which become barriers to our ass. If that not worked we have two options one is cut off, or second is raising the process level.

We also should be able to handle every day put downs which are not straight forward. We need to decide how we going to handle them in a ass way.